• 5:56am Tuesday

I trust the process of life, all I need is always taken care of. I am safe.

I have decided to take a look at an old book I have not consulted in a number of years called "You Can Heal your life" the now international best seller with over 50 million copies in print. I first ran into it in 1985, shortly after Louise Hay first published it. She compiled it and published it after she did the work of healing herself of a terminal cancer diagnosis. Without getting too much into it, you can get a copy on amazon for yourself, she found out that long held beliefs, many and mostly from childhood experiences, and because "thought is creative," create physical manifestations of diseases in the body and show up as problems. My lower back problem has to do with fear of money, lack of financial support. I had that growing up and as I already mentioned here, was very afraid to create it again in my adult life. I did not want to live like my parents did. They were not happy for it and it couldn't help rubbing off on the bunch of us in so many ways.

So I have written this affirmation down, the one I opened with, and I will repeat it when I feel the pain coming in my back. Since I did not want to be poor and took as many steps as I could to not to end up that way and even though I was suffering from alcoholism and bipolar disorder, I am in pretty good shape for what I believe is just the start of the best part of my life yet to come.

I have no financial problems. I live in a home that is in a good maintenance level not needing anything major to repair or invest in in the immediate or foreseeable future. I maintain a comfortable interior air temperature year around regardless of the changing seasons. I have someone do my ground keeping year around except for snow removal which I do myself with a 3 year old snowblower that can clear my driveway in 4 passes in the heaviest snow the climate has yet to dish out. I have a late model high tech pick-up truck that is paid off and I have all the fuel I need to travel in it at my will. The interior of my home is pleasant, ample and inviting to me. It meets all my needs including world wide instant communications 24 hours a day in an office I like being in. I can accommodate guest in 2 separate comfortable climate controlled rooms up to 3 people in standby beds. I have another bed in the basement that could be used if needed, and the couch in the living room has 2 recliners as well as a separate stand alone recliner that can sleep more people if needed. So I can accommodate 7 people comfortable and seat 6 at my sturdy oak kitchen table that I can open up larger if need be with a self stowing leaf that will extend the table another 18" for a meal or gathering and still maneuver in and out of the kitchen. My wife has a new model 4 wheel drive car we both can park off street with room for an easy 4 more vehicles. We live just outside city limits on property with a 25,000 gallon in ground pool and 500 gallon hot tub. We have privacy from neigbors windows for things we want to do outside and inside. We live 8/10th of a mile from a great full service supermarket and within 10 miles of many other things a state capital tri city area can provide. I get free medical, dental and mental health services that I can get to in less than a half an hour. We have no mortgage to pay and our housing expenses are very reasonable. I receive $4,300 per month disability benefits for my service connected disability. I hope to come to a day I can get off of that and support myself with something I like doing for others and get paid well for. Until then, we have plenty of money in the bank and I am able to spend time improving myself. Well, time is coming up for me to get ready to P/U Jennifer for court. I will have to continue this another time.

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