• 3:44am Tuesday

"Situations with change never come with more than you can handle and just enough to get your at


I never heard it quoted before, so I am saying I am quoting that tonight for the first time in writing. No mater what is going on in your life, it is the best way God is using to get your best attention in this matter. Sure one can keep dodging and suffering not making changes, but why? The outcome is personal growth and a better life. There might be forgiveness to do, somethings might not be easy to do but if you ask for help and are willing, you can move mountains. It is what I have come to find out to be true in my life anyway.

I wanted to take a picture for this post so I took one of my office window sill. 3 of them things are souvenirs my son Michael has brought me from his world travels. All the way down is a pipe made from the ayahuasca vine from South America. He went to the remote jungle tribe people to take the plant under their supervision to try to experience an enlightening I guess. I have not tried it yet, I read up on it some and it is similar to doing the natural psychedelic mushrooms only gives more awareness of the self. It is a pretty powerful plant not to be treated as a recreational kind of thing. I want to try it someday, maybe with my son Michael. He never told me about his "trip" down there, he just gave me the pipe when he got back.

The next thing up from there is the Chinese dragon he brought me from his stay in SE part of China for his work. He told me about the piece and what it means and I should have taken notes. The next time he is here I am going to get him to go over it with me and I will take notes this time.

Just past the compass is a figure he got me most recently I think from a part of Taiwan. It has the name of the place on it, merlion, or is that the name of the lion/fish. It is from that part of Taiwan where he was working. He installs computer chip making machines of some sort. He is enjoying he youth traveling as he is single and is not in the emotional state to have a close relationship with another person. He knows this, that is one of the reasons he went to South America that time. I know my drinking did not help his childhood and I have let him know I am always willing to make it up to him and do what I can now. I can only offer and let him be on his own.

I am starting to feel the tiredness now. I got to be ready and leaving this place about 7:25am to p/u Jennifer for a court appearance in Watervliet. There is a lot of experiences I could write about that have to do with her and her mother Sandy, maybe I will another time, but I don't want to take the time right now. Actually, I will feel better when this is over and I get my bail money back. Enough about that for now, I am really getting tired now. I guess that is where the term "I am sick and tired" of that comes from. I find when something is pulling on my attention in a certain way, it makes me "tired".

I am going to lay down as much as I want to stay up, listen to this background music, and set up some recording equipment outside, I have to rest.

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